1. |
Fission
01:35
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I'm trying to remember why I came here in the first place
I think it was to get away from the memories
Now I hate going to sleep
'Cause sleep is alone
Now I want to get back to who I was
Before it all
But that girl is gone
And I am alone
I'm growing roots into the drywall
This complacency is killing me,
If I could draw myself on paper
My head would be splintering
I don't want the steady paycheck
This feels like my life is wasted
I just want the grass beneath my bare feet,
the granite and the sea
I can hear an echo in my heart,
It says "get out while you still can"
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2. |
404 Error
02:27
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I will still await the second arrow
In the wake of the initial
Aching indifference when I’m awake
Still pulled beneath the waves
Who can speak to the extent
The damage death does to the living
I recall before they all were gone
When I could still love my loved ones
I am still afraid we won’t find love
The way we found each other
There is anger rooted deep
For those who speak of grief
With tender tongues and silken teeth
Not knowing a monster lurks beneath
the cast shadows of thought
“A featherweight a gentle teacher”
So many hits to the heart
I’m afraid that I could never love the same
‘Cause I can’t even feel the earth
Beneath my feet
But it seems that it’s cracking
And splintering through me
I’m not whole
I’m just fractures
There is chaos in the dark
I am dragged along the ocean floor
Serrated shards of memories
Sharp and in my skin
Reeds will tangle up my ankles
And now I can’t surface to breathe
The monster pulls me deep
Into everything I avoid
And I can’t look away
I’m in it now
The rest of my life
A motherless daughter
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3. |
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4. |
Somniphobia
03:38
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The highways of my mind
are flooding and filling up
I see you in everything that's beautiful
And I just have to wait for another good day
But until then I'll just clench my jaw
and try to get through
But all I want to do is see you
And ironically I can only see you in my dreams
But I'm afraid to sleep... not another nightmare
I'm lost in a nightmare
Why do I even try when I know what's on the other side?
I'm giving up on sleep
When I know what's on the other side
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5. |
Home is Burning
03:23
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Some people say the same thing
"Being home might be more comforting"
But I had to leave
Because around every corner
Was a memory
another missing piece of me
But they said, "Come back home,
This is where you belong,
by the ocean. This is your home."
But everything changed when
You were ripped away.
And now I can't breathe,
You're not here to see me.
"What have you learned from this?
Did you find god exists?
Have you found Jesus?"
Just stop, I don't need this.
Do you know what it's like to be alive when you're dead?
To not have the answers to what's in your head?
Did she know? Did she hurt? Did she wake right before...?
Was she scared?
Because I'm scared.
Was it just like they said?
Oh, I'm losing,
I'm losing it.
But I don't want to be.
Will I ever be happy?
I know that this grief
can't possibly look good on me
But I'm trying,
So please don't give up on me
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6. |
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Grief tears through my bones
Sleep, sleep is alone
The invasion's slow
If souls exist then mine
in a tide is carried off
My mind's unsafe now
All's wrong and upside down
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